Happy Monday, mamas! I'm excited to bring back the #MamaNextDoor series and continue to introduce you to some incredible women in our community. Women who inspire us through the way they show up in the world, the way they serve their communities and their passion for making our world a better place for future generations. Women who are business owners, inventors, trailblazers, glass-ceiling breakers, change-makers, ground-breakers, visionaries and entrepreneurs. Women, mothers, friends who, like you and me, often live right next door to us.
Today, I'm honored to introduce you to one of the strongest and most inspiring mamas I've ever met. Narmda and I met a few years ago at a Fit4Mom workout class in Chicago. Narmda lives in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband and their two children, Kiaan and Aria. She has the most radiant smile you can't help but notice from across the room. After reading her story, you will also learn she's one of the most bravest, kindest and gracious woman you'll ever meet in your life. I so appreciate Narmda's vulnerability and I'm grateful she shared her journey through motherhood as a breast cancer survivor with our community. Lovely mamas, I dare you not to fall in love with this week's #MamaNextDoor, Narmda!
Tell me a bit about yourself before you became a mother, and how did you change after becoming a mother?
I was always very adventurous and loved to try new things and was literally not afraid of anything before becoming a mother. I knew I wanted to be a mother early on, and knew that I only wanted 2 kids and the universe gave me exactly that. I have a son, Kiaan and a daughter Aria. I changed in so many ways after becoming a Mother. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a month after I had Kiaan and that challenged me in ways I did not think was possible. From being a person before having kids of not being afraid of anything I soon learned that little being relied on me and I would do anything to keep myself safe. Being a mother has taught me to take things slower and enjoy the moment and to think before I say or do things, because these little humans are listening and learning to everything I do.
What does your absolute dream version of motherhood look like?
I want to be a Mother that my kids come to in a time of crisis, happiness and defeat. I hope that I raise them in a way that they are not afraid to come to me when things go wrong. Come to me to share their victories and come to me for advice when they have been defeated. I hope to be a friend to lean on but also the comfort only a Mother can provide.
What societal or cultural messages about motherhood frustrate you and how would you like to see them changed?
I am of Indian decent and culturally all mothers live for their kids. As much as I absolute love being a Mother, I also love being my own person and enjoying things outside of my kids. Our culture has a definition that kids are your life and I wish that we also saw mothers are people who have their own interests and likes and that it is okay!
What do you do well? What’s really works for you? Do you have a secret? Your mom super power?
My mom super power to have my kids understand the real meaning behind all things. The other day I had to take our son to the Optometrist for the first time and he was really scared. Instead of telling him to be a big boy, I explained to him that we have to take care of our eyes because you can’t buy new ones. I told him when we go to the store you don’t see eyes for purchase, just like you don’t see teeth and a spine. ;) I am a Chiropractor so I want to instill in my kids that is SO important to take of their bodies from the inside out as we can’t get a new one.
How do you take care of yourself? How do you deal with mom guilt?
I have learned over the 5.5 years that I have been a Mother than I literally cannot pour out of an empty cup. My husband is so supportive of things I value because he knows not only that I will be a better Mother but a better wife ;) I value exercise so I make sure to get my 4 days per week in every week along with getting my nails done every 2 weeks. It’s the little things that add up that make me a better mother. I used to get mom guilt but then I realized if I don’t take time for myself everyone suffers.
What’s a topic related to motherhood, or life after becoming a mother, that you wish we talked about more?
Post-partum. I feel like it is SO down played in society and once we are out of that phase we all forget other new moms are going through it. I had a very rough post-partum after my daughter and I remind myself of that time daily so when I hear of a new mom giving birth, I always give advice to the Father and hear nearby family/friends that she may be feeling off and that it is okay. It takes so much time to heal and sometimes we don’t, but it is a part of life and we have to let each other do it with grace and support them in any way we can.